Arrival to Cabarete (or any other place) means leaving friends behind, and finding and making new friends comes easily and naturally for others, it can be a lonely isolating and challenging experience. Meeting and making new friends is a skill and like any other skill it can be learned and mastered!
Various studies have shown that social connections (Friends), are important to our wellbeing. Our health, minds, bodies and spirits, even our longevity are nurtured and nourished by Friendships! Social connections are important to both men and women and it appears that female friends are especially important to women. consider this quote from Shelley White:
"Cultivating my friendships has made my life so much better here, now it's a lot closer to the paradise I thought would be home!”
Types of Friendships:
Not all friendships hold the same place in our lives, so when setting out to make new friends, it is worth taking some time to understand the different types of friendships, which will make knowing what you are looking for easier.
Friendships can be thought of as rings of closeness, intimacy or connections.
As the diagram shows, starting with self as the closet, continuing to the next closet, which could be spouse, partner, sibling whoever is the person besides yourself closet to you. Continuing out, are the Best Friends, those who you know the best and who know you the best. In this ring there is a lot of trust, acceptance and love. Often one or two people occupy this ring. The next ring is called the close Friends. These folks are often people we do things with frequently, we share time together often similar interest, share core values and are generally there for one another.
Acquaintances are the peeps we have to chit chat with in the grocery store, see at dance class, they become familiar faces. A place without acquaintances although on the outer ring of the friendship circle actually add to and contribute the feeling of a place being home.
Set an Intention
Setting an intention helps to clarify what we want and helps us get it more easily and quickly. A couple of guidelines on setting an intention: Use "I" statements, present tense on as clear a description as possible. 'I have three ladies to play tennis with once a week' is more effective than "I want some friends!" "I go to Ojos and dance three times"
Tips for meeting and Making Friends
- Get out there! Where is there? What kinds of things did you do in your home country? There is high probability that if you enjoyed something there, you will enjoy it in Cabarete. E.g.:
- Do something different? Cabarete boasts many activities, so break out of the familiar and do something different! E.g.: Circus School or Paddle Boarding.
- Disconnect from devices. Although staying in touch with folks from your home is important, an over reliance leads to a connection to the virtual world and not to the real world.
- Connect to Cabarete's social media Facebook pages such as:
Everything Cabarete, it really does showcase local information, events, specials, restaurants and can be very helpful for finding out what is happening locally!
- Can't find what you are looking for? Put it out there yourself, social media is at its best at connecting liked minded people.
- Are consistent, small consistent actions yielding the best results. Going to Zumba class, may not produce your new BFF on the first day (it could) but showing up regularly and consistently is likely to create new connections and friends.
- By contrast, if it's not working change it up. Try something else, my dog, Ruffus has more Friends than anyone I know, he goes up to people for pats on the head, if he doesn't get what he is looking for he continues to the next set of hands. If you need to close one door another will open.
- Touching base with town networkers like hairdressers, spa owner, massage therapists, yoga teachers, bar owners can help connect you to folks.
- Volunteer to help, here is Cabarete (as well as many parts of the world), there is such a need for help, with children, adults, animals, the environment, something about helping, facilitates connecting with people.
- Be patient with yourself and others.